Letter to Birth Parents

Hello,

Choosing just the right family for your baby must be overwhelming. Especially when introductions are first made with just a few words, written on a page and a simple photograph. We can't begin to imagine all that comes with such a decision. But, we feel a special bond forming between the mothers who find themselves placing their baby for adoption and ourselves. Each of us, with our separate lives, yours and ours, are both full of uncertainty, however, we may find that through this process, we are lead to the very key that answers each other's prayers.

Although both, Brandon and my family, have known each other since we were born, when I was very young, my parents divorced and I moved away to Washington with my Mom and a few of my siblings. I returned after graduating high school and reunited with my family here in Oregon. Those years of being pulled back and forth between the two parts of my family that I loved equally, cemented in me the desire to remain close to the gospel and work towards creating my own forever family centered in gospel principals.  During the many church activities I attended back in Oregon, I met Brandon’s sister and it didn’t take long for me to get reacquainted with their family. I spent lots of time at their home, which is how I met Brandon when he returned home from his two-year church mission in England.

Brandon and I were married in the Portland Oregon Temple.  Despite all our exciting plans and dreams, six years later, we hadn't been able to have the children we'd so long looked forward to. Then, the miracle of our lives happened.  We were honored with the biggest blessing in our lives; we adopted our son, Hayden. Immediately, we realized that he was the piece to our family puzzle that we had been missing. He is the sweetest little guy you will ever meet. He has the biggest heart and he has a great sense of humor. Over the last three years, we have joyfully discovered that he has been a blessing, not only in our lives, but in many of our friend's and family's lives as well. He has added a fullness to all of our lives that is impossible to describe. From time to time we share letters and pictures with his birth mom so that she can continue to see the gift that she has blessed our family with. Hayden is the miracle of our lives and we will be forever grateful for her love, courage, and sacrifice that made it possible for the three of us to be a family. We love Hayden more than we could have ever imagined, and now that he is growing older, we want to continue to grow our family and have Hayden be blessed with siblings.

Both, Brandon and I, have always dreamt of a home with lots of kids. With me, Michelle, as the carpool and field trip Mom, and Brandon coaching peewee sports and tossing balls in our back yard.  Because of our backgrounds with our own families, both Brandon and I know that to achieve our dream we need to work hard and hold fast to some really specific ideas and values that have already shaped our family.

Brandon and I are eager to share with you the five values that make up the foundation of our family because we feel it best describes who we are...

FAMILY

Brandon and I both come from close, tightly knit families who live nearby.  It is a vital thread to the fabric of our lives.  Ours is a life of fluid motion with the people we love the most: Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, Nieces (no nephews yet), Cousins, Siblings and best of all, our son.  Each of our homes is a constant revolving door of family gatherings, game nights, and meals.  We laugh together, we work together, and we support each other.

SERVICE

We want to pass on to our children our love for serving and helping others. So far, Hayden already wants to help anytime we are working, whether it be working in the garage, in the yard or cleaning the house. Through our wearisome journey of infertility and disappointment, serving others has soothed and healed us. For many years, I've worked with the elderly and mentally disabled. This has really taught us how important it is to help one another.  We want to develop in our children a great love for service. It seems to smooth out life's challenges by making us more patient, compassionate, understanding, and happy—which is exactly the kind of children we hope to raise.

RECREATION

Our family loves to be together, and so, most often, you will find us engaged in activities we can all do with each other. We get together often, and enjoy going boating, rafting, camping, hiking, and having game nights! We love lots of physical outdoor activities and group sports. Hayden just loves to be outside, whether it’s riding bikes, swinging or playing ball.

FAITH

We have a deep love of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It edifies everything we do. We want to raise our children with the knowledge that they have a Heavenly Father who loves them; and that if they will apply the principles of the gospel it will magnify their lives, strengthen them during their trials, and bring them much joy.

PERSPECTIVE

Yes, Perspective!  Brandon and I want to share with our children that any obstacle can be surmounted; it's all about how you look at things.  Our perspective has been made more positive by a quote we read by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross who said, (we don't know who she is, but we love what she said!), "Beautiful people do not just happen." She explained her statement this way; “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.” Brandon and I, through the last nine years of trying to have children, have faced much disappointment and heartache, but these very experiences have made us more compassionate for other peoples struggles and a given us a joyful appreciation for all the amazing blessings we already enjoy, especially as we have been blessed with our son. It's the perspective we use when we look at things.

When all is said and done, we think we're offering more than a great family—we like to think we're offering an environment.  One in which, we hope will be full of thriving kids who learn the importance of family, the blessings of service, find joy in recreation, have a strong foundation of faith, and learn to have a positive perspective!

We pray you will be prompted to know when you've found just the right family—one that your baby will grow up in feeling loved deeply, learning sound values, and feel privileged about the circumstances of their birth, because prayerful and loving choices were made.

Brandon and Michelle